Jaemi Gays: All 8 Episodes
Episode 1
I didn’t plan on saying this out loud, but I think I need to. When I was younger, I was sexually abused… and it was by a woman. I feel like that part confuses people, or they don’t take it seriously, or they don’t even believe me. For a long time, I didn’t even know how to process it myself. I’m not sharing this for sympathy—I just don’t want to keep pretending it didn’t happen.
Episode 2
So I’ve been doing a lot of thinking since my last post, and I’m starting to understand myself a little differently. I don’t really feel like I fit into “girl” or “boy” the way people expect. It’s not new—it’s just something I didn’t have words for before. I think… I’m nonbinary. Saying that out loud feels both terrifying and kind of relieving at the same time.
Episode 3
This might seem like a lot all at once, but everything kind of connects the more I sit with it. I’ve been questioning my sexuality too, and I think I’ve been overcomplicating it because of my past. But if I’m being honest with myself… I’m a lesbian. And yeah, that comes with a lot of mixed feelings, but it also feels like I’m finally telling the truth.
Episode 4
Okay, so I did something kind of impulsive. I made a Tinder profile. I don’t even know if I’m ready, but I wanted to see what it felt like to put myself out there. I’ve matched with people, had a few conversations… but I haven’t actually met anyone. Every time it gets close, I kind of freeze. I don’t know if it’s fear, trust issues, or just not being ready yet.
Episode 5
I’ve been noticing a pattern. I want connection—I really do—but when it starts to feel real, I pull back. It’s like part of me is still stuck trying to protect myself. I don’t think it’s just about dating… I think it’s about learning how to feel safe again. And that’s harder than I expected.
Episode 6
Someone asked me why I even downloaded Tinder if I wasn’t ready to meet people, and I didn’t really have an answer at first. But I think it’s because I wanted proof that I could exist as myself… and still be wanted. Not in a shallow way, just… seen. Even if I’m not ready to take the next step yet.
Episode 7
I almost met up with someone today. Like, I actually picked an outfit and everything. But then I canceled last minute. I felt bad, but also kind of proud of myself for even getting that far. I think healing isn’t just big moments—it’s small steps like that too.
Episode 8
I’m starting to realize that my identity isn’t something I have to “figure out all at once.” It’s okay if it keeps evolving. Nonbinary. Lesbian. Survivor. All of those things can exist at the same time, even if they don’t always make sense together right away.
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