Jaemi Emotions Game

This is a two-part, hands-on emotional regulation game: first you separate what your child can’t control from what can be influenced or managed, then move to constructive coping strategies.

This game makes emotional learning tangible, visual, and interactive, and separates frustration from actionable coping. It’s also perfect for kids who tend to default to “I’m happy” or hide feelings—they see that negative emotions are normal, but there’s always a safe way to respond.

Objective
Help children recognize what they cannot control (emotions, triggers, situations) and focus on what they can control (coping strategies, reframing, and calming techniques).

Materials Needed
Two jars or containers
Cards or slips of paper
Pens or markers
Optional: activity sheet for “What helps me feel better” and “Another way to look at it”

Step 1: Prepare the Jars
Label the first jar “Things I Can’t Control” and the second jar “Things I Can Control”.

Step 2: Fill the “Things I Can’t Control” Jar
Write or draw examples from these categories on separate slips of paper:

How I Feel Today: happy, sad, frustrated, angry, confused, nervous, lonely, excited, proud, disappointed

What Happened: lost toy, friend didn’t play, got in trouble, spilled drink, disagreement with sibling, failed a game, felt left out, pet did something unexpected, chores interrupted play, missed an opportunity

Why I Feel This Way: worked hard and toy broke, wanted to play with friend, felt I did something wrong, was hungry, felt frustrated about failing, was surprised or scared, wanted to be included, needed to stop for chores, etc.

Fold the slips and put them all in the jar.

Step 3: Match Them Up
Pull one slip from each category: How I Feel, What Happened, and Why I Feel This Way.

Example: “Frustrated / Lost my toy / Worked hard and it got ruined”

Read the combination out loud and talk about it. Emphasize: these are things you cannot control, and it’s okay to feel frustrated or disappointed about them.

Step 4: Move to the Activity Sheet
After matching a “can’t control” combination, the child picks up a sheet with these two prompts:

What Helps Me Feel Better
Example responses: take a deep breath, draw a picture, talk to someone, hug a stuffed animal, go for a walk, play a different game, use a fidget toy, count to 10, listen to music, write or dictate feelings

Another Way to Look at It
Example responses: share toy next time, invite a different friend to play, try again, clean up and restart, apologize and make up, play with someone else, laugh it off, finish chores and play afterward.

The child can pick one or more strategies for each situation, write or draw them, or role-play how they might use them.

Step 5: Reflection and Discussion
After a few rounds, talk about how focusing on what they can control makes them feel.

Encourage them to notice patterns: “I can’t control when my friend doesn’t want to play, but I can choose how to respond or find something fun to do.”

Optionally, keep the “can’t control” slips in the jar for future rounds and continue adding new situations as they arise.

Variations / Role-Play Options:
Charades
Act out the feeling or situation and let the other person guess the emotion.

Storytelling
Make up a short story using the matched slips.

Collaborative Solution
Together, brainstorm multiple ways to cope and pick the one to try first.

How to Play
  1. Put all slips from “How I Feel Today,” “What Happened,” and “Why I Feel This Way” into the jar.
  2. Pull one slip from each category to make a combination. Example: “Frustrated / Lost my toy / Worked hard and it got ruined.”
  3. Talk about how it’s okay to feel that way—these are things you cannot control.
  4. Move to the activity sheet and pick one or more strategies from “What Helps Me Feel Better” and “Another Way to Look at It.”
  5. Role-play, draw, or write how you would use those strategies in real life.
  6. Repeat with new combinations.

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